For someone who has just gone through a divorce, sharing custody with an ex can seem like a nightmare situation. As hard as custody exchanges may be for you, they’re likely going to be even harder on your kids.
Thankfully, if you and your ex are willing to work together a little bit, there are certainly ways that the two of you can make it easier for your whole family to adjust to shared custody after a divorce.
Keep the rules and expectations consistent between houses
The downside to having two sets of clothing and two rooms to decorate is the need to memorize two different sets of household rules. Instead of trying to enforce your own rules in your house and letting your ex manage their household in their own way, it may be better for your whole family if you agree that certain rules should be the same between houses so that the children know what you expect of them.
Be careful about how you talk about custody and your ex
You may feel tempted to complain about needing to pack your kids up and take them over to your ex’s house or the place where you meet to exchange custody. Voicing your negative emotions may give you an opportunity to vent, but it can cause emotional stress for your children.
Instead of putting them in a position where they have to listen to one parent talk poorly about the other, it is usually better to save your personal thoughts on the situation for your friends and say a positive is possible when talking with your kids. If you and your ex can do that and work together regarding rules and parenting, shared custody will be much easier for your family.
If your current custody agreement isn’t working, it may be time to think about modifying the agreement in some way to make things easier. An experienced attorney can help.