Divorced parents often want to spend all of their time with the children separately. That’s understandable. You got divorced for a reason. You don’t want to have to spend more time together, even though you do want to spend it with the children.
However, when it comes to important events, both parents should still go. Perhaps the most common examples are a birthday party or a high school graduation. These things matter tremendously to the children, and they need the support of both parents. They need to feel that love and closeness, and they should not feel like the divorce prevented one parent from being at an event that can never happen again. Graduation only happens once. Don’t skip it just because your ex has custody that day.
Even with events that can happen repeatedly, though, it’s best if both parents can go. For example, maybe your child plays on the high school football team. There are only so many games in a season, and football may be all that your child thinks about. This season in life is going to pass so quickly. You should both attempt to be there when possible.
It’s safe to say that scheduling for things like this can get complicated. Who has custody? Who picks the child up and drops them off? What do your own schedules look like? How can you work together to create the best life for your child? These are all important questions to ask and you need to think about them when creating a parenting plan.