Divorce is not an easy thing and sharing the news with your family is not an enviable task – even when your kids are grown up.
You might be surprised to hear that telling your adult children that you’re getting divorced can be just as hard as telling young children. Whereas young children probably wouldn’t ask the tough questions, your adult children probably will.
Breaking the news
No matter what their ages, your divorce is bound to be painful for your children. After all, they may be adults, but you are still mom and dad to them. These tips can help you with that discussion:
- Talk with all of your children at the same time. Set up a family meeting. If one of them can’t make it, consider having them join your discussion via an internet phone chat.
- Be very patient with them. You may have to answer the same questions several times. Your children will most likely have trouble processing what you are saying due to the shock of your announcement.
- Don’t blame your spouse in front of your children. Expecting your children to choose a side is a very bad idea. If you put them in the middle, they may resent you.
- Validate your children’s feelings. They may feel sad, angry or disappointed. There are no right or wrong emotions when it comes to hearing that your parents are divorcing.
- Remind them that the two of you will always love them. That will never change for either of you.
When the discussion is over take some time to consider your options. You will need assistance to get through the divorce process.