Finding Solutions To Complex Issues

Parenting when your ex has a toxic personality

On Behalf of | Jul 10, 2023 | Divorce |

What is a toxic person? Although it can vary from person to person, the term generally refers to someone–a parent in this context–with a high-conflict personality. Whether by accident or design, these individuals can make even minor issues more complicated than they should be.

It is hard enough to parent with a toxic individual while married, but their frustrating conduct may increase after a divorce, especially when kids are involved. For many, parallel parenting can help reduce the issues that often arise when parenting with a toxic personality.

What does parallel parenting mean?

It means that divorced parents have as few interactions as possible and may parent their kids, each in their way. Of course, they must still provide a safe and nurturing environment regardless of their parenting styles.

The parallel parenting approach may minimize conflict when parents cannot work together or communicate without fighting.

How do you make it work?

If reducing interactions (fights, arguments, etc.) with your ex sounds like a dream come true, parallel parenting might be worth pursuing. Here are six tips to help you succeed.

  • 1. Avoid interfering with your ex’s parenting unless it endangers your kids
  • 2. Set clear boundaries and maintain them when dealing with your ex
  • 3. Walk away or hang up the phone if your co-parent tries to start an argument
  • 4. Ensure your child custody order defines each parent’s responsibilities and rights
  • 5. Keep communications minimal and consider only using emails or texts
  • 6. Never bring up your or your co-parent’s personal lives

Unfortunately, some people are so toxic that their conduct might endanger a child’s physical or psychological well-being. If you believe that is possible in your case, it may be time to seek a remedy from a Minnesota family court.